Why is it
that I cannot trust
the One who set the stars
where once was only dark;
who filled the earth, the air, the sea;
and whose very breath brought life
to a nascent human race?
Why do I fear
the gaze of a God
who respects my choice
and honors my will,
until desperate again,
I turn my heart toward His?
How many times
will I avert my face from His?
How long will I run away,
chasing after siren songs,
the lies of lesser gods?
How much longer
will I cover His quiet voice, deep within,
which calls me home to Him?
Who is this God
with nail-scarred hand
gently caressing my brow?
My soul lies here broken
my spirit desperate in defeat.
But I sense a new spark of hope
and then the sweet scent of peace,
as He smiles and tells me
that I am truly beloved,
and ever a child of His.
Tonight I discovered a cache of poetry that I have written about my spiritual journey. If you are a longtime reader, you will have seen much of it before. Sorry for the reruns. As I read it again, I found that most of it, for better or worse, still fits. I'll try to post one every day or two for a little while. I don't have that many. I suppose I could just write some more then, eh?
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Despite 30 years of "being a Christian" I came to a place in my life where I found that my faith was dull and lifeless, and not worth much to me or anyone else, much less God. I decided it was time to deconstruct my faith, decide what I really believed, make it my own, and try to live it out in a way that makes a difference in my life and in the lives of those around me.
2 comments:
In that piece of poetry, I could see so much of myself. Keep writing.
I think there are a lot of us that feel this way, Smitty. Thanks for the encouragement.
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