Last night I started reading "Following Jesus: Biblical Reflections on Discipleship" by N.T. Wright. As I began reading, I noticed an optimism in my heart. I can't point to any one thing, but it "feels" as if God is answering my prayers for a rekindling of my desire for Him. The verse that I paraphrased on my other blog, combined with Wright's reminder that Christ did not renounce His human nature, gave me a sense of peace as I laid my head on the pillow to seek the release of sleep.
Another thing I noticed was this morning, as I paraphrased Hebrews 4:15,16, is how much I love doing that. I don't know jack about Koine Greek. I have some lexicons and other tools if I want to dig a little, but I am really totally unqualified to touch the original language. On the other hand, I CAN take twelve different English translations and paraphrases and work out a new paraphrase that speaks to me. As I wrestle with the verse and the nuances of the wording, the verse becomes more personal. So I think I might dig up verses that I have paraphrased in the past, see if I still like them, and then tackle other verses that mean a lot to me. Not sure where this will lead. At the very least it's time in God's Word for me.
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Despite 30 years of "being a Christian" I came to a place in my life where I found that my faith was dull and lifeless, and not worth much to me or anyone else, much less God. I decided it was time to deconstruct my faith, decide what I really believed, make it my own, and try to live it out in a way that makes a difference in my life and in the lives of those around me.
3 comments:
Hi Gary,
I've been following your blogs but can't reply from my Mac at home for some reason, but just to let you know I empathize with your struggle with depression and trying to turn things around physically and spiritually. I haven't read any of Wright's books (although he's a fellow Anglican) but I have read some of his online stuff and sermons and my impression is that he combines solid relatively orthodox theology (which you will resonate with) with common sense, intelligence and compassion (which we both appreciate).
I think that part of the beauty of the scriptures is that there are layers of meaning and various contexts in which we can read them. One way God speaks to us directly and personally is through the scriptures, which means that I may take something from the reading of a particular scripture which is meant for me and not necessarily another person not in the same situation. Of course, it will always be within the boundaries of Christ's overall message, so if I think God is telling me to make a burnt offering of my child or dash my enemies children's heads against a rock, I can be pretty sure that isn't God's voice I'm hearing.
Hi Mariam,
I find it interesting that he has referred to himself as the highest ranking evangelical in the Anglican communion. If I remember correctly, he is fourth down from the Archbishop of Canterbury.
Well, the Anglican Communion is not overloaded with people who identify themselves as evangelicals, so he very well may be the highest ranking evangelical. Certainly the Arhbishop of Canterbury doesn't describe himself that way.
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