In the Beginning

What do I mean when I say that I am "reconsidering my faith"? It makes more sense if one starts with the definition of reconsidering as "To consider again, often with alteration or modification in mind."

It's not that I am on the verge of jettisoning my faith. Rather, in the past few years my faith has been stretched and challenged by exposure to very different perspectives on the Christian faith. So it's time for me to seriously consider what it is that I truly do believe and why I believe it. To me, it feels more like a natural and healthy inventory and house-cleaning than a crisis of faith. It's about investing time and energy to face the truth of where I am spiritually, then affirming what seems right, and discarding that which does not.

My faith was first formed when I came to faith almost thirty years ago in a fundamentalist church. Over the years my perspective has changed dramatically. But often I find that my gut reaction to issues of faith, and even to God, is still influenced by what I was taught when my faith was brand new. Voices like Spencer Burke, Brian McLaren and others have caused me to have questions about issues like the "infallibility and inerrancy" of scripture, the nature and purpose of the atonement, what is salvation, what about our eternal destiny, etc. As I read scripture, these and other questions arise. They get in the way. I am not looking for a nailed-down, systematic theology, just a basic functional understanding of what it means to be a Christian, how one becomes a Christian, and what difference it makes now and forever. I know all the doctrine and the basic theology. I've taught them for years. But they're not working for me right now. But all that might really be beside the point. Let me explain.

This HAS to be more than an intellectual, theological exercise. The larger impetus behind this blog and this process is a recognition that I have drifted away from God. I want to rekindle a desire to earnestly seek Him in my daily life. I have neglected my relationship with Him. But inertia and fear are serious obstacles.

The focus on my relationship with God is more important than an emphasis on my personal theology. My theology will impact my relationship with God, but my relationship with Him animates and transforms my personal theology. Still, I know that for me, it will be much easier to focus on some theoretical and analytical study of God or discipleship than on actually "walking with God". Hence this blog to keep me focused. (Hmmm, will this work?) If this process (not just the blog) does not result in some tangible changes in my life over time, then this exercise will have been pretty much pointless.

I have some ideas as to how to begin and perhaps I'll post about them tomorrow. The obvious starting place is prayer. I have yet to spend time talking to God about all of this. Sadly, that's so typical of me. Big smoke, little fire.

Your prayers would be appreciated.
Pax vobiscum